Fight for Me: The Complete Collection by Jackson A.L

Author:Jackson, A.L. [Jackson, A.L.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: A.L. Jackson Books Inc.
Published: 2019-09-08T16:00:00+00:00

18

Hope

My hands trembled where they rested on his striking face.

But it had shaken me.

Being able to finally see all the way past the gorgeous exterior. Down, deep inside this miraculous man with his huge, beautiful, bleeding heart.

To the man who had lost, who remained terrified and hurt. The one who had somehow taken on some of that responsibility when it clearly didn’t belong to him.

The one who was so clearly scared of repeating it again.

And my son.

He was sick.

I understood it in a way I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

I wanted to ask him so many things.

How?

What happened?

I wanted to tell him it would be okay.

That it was all right to hurt.

That I understood.

Instead, I just sat there, waiting for him, needing this answer, knowing if I had it, I might be able to understand him on a level I hadn’t before. That maybe we could make sense of what was going on between us.

He peeled himself away and looked at me. Grief swam in that turbulent sea of blue. “Part of me will always love her, Hope. But what torments me is she didn’t get the chance to experience life. That I missed her symptoms and took that chance away.”

Sorrow clenched down on my chest, sorrow that he could possibly think he was responsible for his first love’s death.

His Adam’s apple bobbed heavily as he swallowed. “Then the other part of me wonders . . . wonders what my life would have looked like had I been able to save her. Would we be married? Would we have kids? Would she be an anesthesiologist like she’d wanted to be? Or would her dreams have changed, too?”

His voice cracked as he continued, “She deserved to experience everything life had in store for her, and I stole that from her. Failed her when she needed me most.”

I could feel my heart splintering under the devastation in his expression.

“I’ve been told that sometimes it’s the what-ifs that hurt the most. What haunt us the longest. But there is absolutely no chance you were responsible for her death, Kale. You have to let that go. Live and find joy. Because I promise you, you deserve it, everything life has in store for you.”

He flinched as if he wanted to refute my claim, so I was quick to add, “Believe it. I do.”

He took my hand and pressed his face in to my palm, kissing the flesh before he moved to kiss the inside of my wrist. “Incredible. Told you, Hope. You are incredible. And I don’t know how to make sense of it.”

“Do you want to try?” I asked him. Stepping out, that limb teetering beneath me, threatening to splinter.

And God . . .

The smile he sent me?

It rocked me to the core.

Confidence and naked vulnerability, the contours of his face lit up in the glow of the fading sun.

“I do . . . but the last thing I want to do is fail you. Fail Evan.”

I blinked at him, my chest tightening, and I started to tell him I didn’t think it was possible for him to do that.

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